


Touched for the very first time

by kasienka_nikki



Category: The Shannara Chronicles (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, First Kiss, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 11:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8012074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kasienka_nikki/pseuds/kasienka_nikki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bandon can touch Allanon without having visions...</p><p>Thank you Lulu for being my beta, I know it was a nightmare, promise it's my first and last fanfic!<br/>Thank you, thank you, love you :****</p>
            </blockquote>





	Touched for the very first time

 

He doesn’t know how exactly this idea popped into his head, but once it had it was the only thing he could think of. The idea of not being afraid of physical contact was new to him. As a small child he used to grab his mother and immediately horrific visions would surround him, vivid pictures and screams. The screams had been the worst, because even after the visions had passed he could still hear the screams in his head.

So yes, his heart might have skipped a bit when he felt Allanon's hand on his shoulder. He closed his eyes, waiting for visions to happen, but they didn't come. His eyes snapped open and he looked at Allanon, who was still talking to him. Bandon tried to pay attention to his words, but all he could focus on was  Allanon's hand still resting on his shoulder.

“I didn’t see anything” Bandon said and looked at Allanon with big eyes.

“Of course you didn’t.” The druid replied with a smile, like it was something obvious. “Didn't you know your powers could be blocked?”

At the look of disbelief on Bandon's face Allanon's smile widened and he gently padded Bandon's cheek before he walked away.

 

***

Later when everybody went to bed Bandon couldn’t sleep. He lay awake, shifting from side to side as he tried to come to terms with this new idea of touching someone. Reason told him it was a horrible idea, that he shouldn’t do it, but right there in the cold darkness, it was hard to care about reason. Making up his mind, he slipped out of bed and out into the hallway.

It didn't take him long before he was standing outside Allanon's room. He thought about knocking, but knew that Allanon would probably just send him back to his room. Alone in his room was not where Bandon needed to be now.

 

***

The soft chirping of birds was what woke Allanon that morning. He didn't usually sleep in, but even for his standards it was early. The morning chill on his face was a contrast to the warmth pressed against his back and he turned his head to find Bandon asleep behind him.

“What are you doing here?” Allanon asked, maybe a bit harsher than he intended. Behind him Bandon awoke with a start.

“I just…I wanted to -” Bandon muttered, looking properly guilty. “I thought you could show me how to block my visions.”

“Bandon.”

“Okay, I'm sorry. The truth is I couldn't sleep.”

Allanon looked at the elf, at the lost look on his face and the way he had his arms wrapped around himself, like he was trying to remember what a hug felt like. Allanon sighed.

“I'll teach you how to stop the visions, but you can't show up here in the middle of the night, do you understand?” Allanon didn't wait for an answer. “Now go back to your own room, before everyone gets up.”

He watched as Bandon closed the door behind him before he put a hand to the place Bandon had slept, bed still warm.

 

***

Practicing with Allanon turned out to be more draining than Bandon had thought. At the end of the day he was worn, not physically but mentally, and he didn't think he'd be able to block out a single person without passing out. It had been good, though. He had shook Wil's hand without seeing his last moments and later in the corridor he had crashed to a blonde girl – Catania, her name was - and while the visions had started he had managed to block them in time. It was progress.

He lay down on his bed looking at the ceiling, while he thought of last night. He had never let himself imagine what it would feel like to lie next to someone else, to feel the warmth and inhale the scent of them. Bandon didn't have much to compare with, but he had thought Allanon smelled nice.

Suddenly he felt hot, his cheeks burning and his skin prickling like it had last night when he had thought about how Allanon had touched him. He needed fresh air, needed to clear his head, so he left his room and went to the nearest balcony. It was another cold night, clear and filled with stars, and Bandon closed his eyes for a while, taking deep breaths to calm himself.

He had been fine all day, but as soon as he was alone and let his mind wander he found it hard to keep his thoughts from straying to Allanon. When he went back inside he let his feet carry him through the corridors and soon found himself outside Allanon's room again.

 

***

Allanon awoke to the gentle weight of a hand on his hips and a cold nose pressed to the back of his neck. He had thought that after a full day of training Bandon would have had his fair share of touching, or at least that he would have been so worn out that he had gone straight to his own bed. Apparently that hadn't been the case. 

“Bandon,” he whispered and when nothing happened he said the name again a little louder. Behind him Bandon moved, the hand on Allanon's hip coming up to rest against his chest and the cold nose pressing closer. That wasn't exactly the reaction he was hoping for, so instead he grabbed Bandon's hand, squeezing it gently until he felt the young elf tense up behind him. 

“It’s time for you to go.” Allanon said softly and felt the warmth leave his bed and slip out of the room along with Bandon. 

***

That day Bandon didn't see Allanon once. He knew the druid had important matters that needed his attention, just like Bandon did, but it still felt as if he was being avoided. He couldn’t blame Allanon if that was the case. He had crossed Allanon's lines, knowingly, and Allanon had every right to be angry with him. Still, Bandon couldn't help feeling abandoned, which was stupid, he knew that. Allanon meant something to Bandon, because he was the first person Bandon had come in contact with that hadn't caused visions of death and decay when Bandon had touched him, but that didn't give him any claim over the druid and it didn't mean Allanon owed him anything.

Bandon promised to himself that this night he would spend in his own bed, which shouldn’t be hard, considering that he used to be alone all the time. It wasn't Allanon's problem that Bandon felt this way, Bandon reasoned. It wasn't his problem that Bandon had felt what it was like to be close to someone for the first time in his life, that he now knew exactly what he was missing out on.

“You can do this,”  Bandon whispered to himself, but he didn't quite believe it.

He woke up shaking in the darkness, face wet from tears. The nightmare was already fading, but he knew what it had been about, because his dreams were all the same - death, pain, screams, fire. He got up to wash his face, but his hands were shaking too much and a sudden need to have arms wrapped around him, comforting him, had him leaving the room and heading for Allanon's door. This time the doors were closed...

*** 

That night Allanon couldn’t sleep. Ever since he had awoken from his druid's slumber his days had been filled with meetings, training and planning for the coming war and the nights had been spent with restless sleep and uneasy dreams. The only proper sleep he had gotten was the two past nights, where Bandon had sneaked into his room, seeking contact, and Allanon didn't want to think about what that meant. 

Deciding he needed to clear his head in the fresh night air he unlocked the door to find Bandon leaned against the door frame, asleep and shaking slightly in the cold. 

“Stubborn.” Allanon whispered and knelt down, surveying the elf's face in the flicker from the touch on the wall. He was dreaming, brows drawn together and small whimpers leaving his mouth. His eyelashes were wet and when Allanon looked closer he could see traces of tears on Bandon's cheeks.  


Bandon didn't wake when Allanon picked him up, but he tugged his face into Allanon's shoulder and  seemed to relax in his arms. For a moment Allanon hesitated, looking down the hallway towards Bandon's room, but in the end he went into his own room, closing the door behind him with a nudge of his shoulder.

“Let's see what we can do about those nightmares.” He whispered as he put Bandon down on his bed and with the elf pressing against his side he spent the night whispering his druid spells into Bandon's soft hair.

***

Bandon woke up feeling safe and content and he didn't even have to open his eyes to know the reason for it.

“Good morning,” He said, turning his head to find Allanon awake, watching him. “I thought I wasn't welcome here.”

“Should I have left you on my doorstep?” Allanon asked, looking mildly offended at the thought.

“You could have taken me to my own bed,” Bandon pointed out, feeling that the fact that Allanon hadn't done that was a victory. He had obviously wanted Bandon here, had chosen to take Bandon to his own bed and let Bandon curl up next to him. Bandon had been desperate for comfort last night and Allanon had understood that.

A rush of gratitude had Bandon leaning in to press his lips against Allanon's. He wasn't sure what he expected to happen, not even sure what he was doing, but stupidly he was hoping that Allanon would take charge. Instead the druid broke the kiss, gently pushing Bandon away with a hand on his chest.

“You can't do that.” Allanon said, the same voice he used when he had trained Bandon the day before.

“I did it wrong.”

“No,” Allanon moved to sit on the edge of the bed and Bandon followed him. “But it was wrong of you to do it.”

“I thought-”

“I know you haven't been able to touch people,”  Allanon said calmly. “But that'll change now. Soon you'll be able to control your visions and you can touch whomever you want.”

“And what if I want to touch you?” Bandon said loudly, stubborn anger pushing down the shame of the rejection. “What if you're the one I want to touch, does that mean I can?”

“Bandon.”

“I guess not.” Bandon said, the pounding of his heart and the tightness in his throat making it hard to breathe.  He was out the door before Allanon could stop him.

***

Bandon slammed his door behind him, a mix af anger and frustration and shame burning inside his chest. He wanted to cry and he wanted to punch something, preferably Allanon's face. For the first time he had wanted something for himself, something grown up and physical and for a moment he had fooled himself in to believing that Allanon had wanted the same thing; for a moment, for a dumb, reckless moment Bandon had felt like he had found someone who understood him, who wanted him close.

A knock on the door startled Bandon and he held his breath to calm down. There was another knock followed by Allanon's voice.

“It’s me. Can I come in?”

Bandon hesitated, feeling like he might still punch Allanon if he was face to face with him, but in the end he reasoned that if he wanted to be treated like a grown-up he had to act like one.

“I don't really know what to say to you.” He admitted when he opened the door, gathering the courage to look at Allanon.

“Then let me speak.” Allanon said and pushed past Bandon without an invitation. “I was unfair with you before, rejecting you like that.”

“I thought for a moment you wanted me,”  Bandon interrupted, “I was the one who made a mistake.”

“You didn't, I did. Last night I brought you to my bed to chase your nightmares away. There are druid spells that can-” Allanon stopped himself and sighed, “But I was also selfish.” he continued, “I wanted you there, wanted the warmth of you. I didn't expect you to-”

“To kiss you.” Bandon finished for him. He thought he understood, thought he understood what the druid had felt, waking from 30 years of solitude and then have someone crave your company, crave the simple touch of your fingertips. At least Bandon can understand what it means to feel  alone and then suddenly have the company of someone he hadn't expected. Slowly  Bandon took a step closer to the druid.

“But I wanted to kiss you.” he said, feeling brave when Allanon didn't move away. “I wanted it then and I want to now.” He didn't stop until he was as close to Allanon as he dared, foreheads touching and breath mingling.

“So what are you going to do about that?” Bandon whispered, daring Allanon.

Allanon hesitated for just a moment before giving in. He lifted both hands to cup Bandon's face and pulled him in for a kiss that made Bandon's whole body react. It was different than anything he had imagined, the way Allanon could kiss his lips, but somehow touch his entire body at the same time, every single nerve ending. For someone who had never experienced the pleasures of human contact before it was very overwhelming and Bandon had to pull away to breathe.

The loss of Bandon's mouth didn't stop Allanon, though, who instead found Bandon's neck and the lobe of his ear, sucking gently until Bandon trembled.

“You like that.” Allanon said, but all Bandon could do was moan in reply. “Okay, that's good.”

Bandon didn't know he was being moved backwards until his legs hit the edge of the bed and he tumbled unto it. He looked up at Allanon, who hadn't followed him down and the loss of contact gave him the chance to form words.

“Take of your shirt.” Bandon said, liking the way Allanon's face lit with a soft smile at the demand. While Allanon pulled off his shirt Bandon moved higher up on the bed, squirming to get out of his own clothes, but when he reached for his pants Allanon's fingers closed gently around his wrist.

“Hey, slow down.” Allanon said, eyes warm. “You're not ready for that.”

“You don't know-” Bandon protested, earning a soft laugh from Allanon.

“I do know. Trust me.” He said and joined Bandon in the bed, kissing up his chest as he moved higher. “But we'll get you there, don't worry.”

Bandon made sure to hold him to his word.


End file.
